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General Product Giveaway from Tech Armor [Mod Approved][Winners Announced]

Discussion in 'Android Devices' started by TechArmor, Dec 2, 2013.

  1. Unforgiven

    Unforgiven ...eschew obfuscation...
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    So, this one made me laugh like crazy when I was a little kid.

    How do you catch an elephant?

    Dig a giant hole and fill it with ashes. Line the rim of the hole with peas. When the elephant bends over to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

    :rofl:
     

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  2. Brian706

    Brian706 I like turtles!
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    What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?



    Dam...
     
  3. Brian706

    Brian706 I like turtles!
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    One more. I heard this one recently and enjoyed it.


    During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"

    "Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

    "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

    "No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
     
  4. SammanthaX345

    SammanthaX345 Well-Known Member
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    A steak pun is rare medium well done
     
  5. SammanthaX345

    SammanthaX345 Well-Known Member
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    It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
     
  6. SammanthaX345

    SammanthaX345 Well-Known Member
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    Well, well, well would you look at the thyme...
     
  7. Ranhead

    Ranhead Android Enthusiast
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    This one was my favorite as a child.

    While driving down a rural road, a man noticed a 3 legged chicken running alongside of him at over 50 MPH. It passed him and turnd down a driveway leading to a farm.

    The man turn down the driveway only to discover three legged chickens all over the place. He approach the farmer and asked him where they came from.

    The farmer explained, "my wife, son and I all prefer drumsticks".

    "Wow.... How do they taste?"




    "Don't know, haven't caught one yet!"
     
  8. badutahboy

    badutahboy Well-Known Member
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    One of my favorites, except I heard it this way:

    How do you catch a polar bear?

    Go up to Alaska and cut a hole in the ice. When he comes out to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.
     
    Unforgiven likes this.
  9. g01851

    g01851 Well-Known Member
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    Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Duh dum chhhh
     
  10. vandyman

    vandyman Android Expert
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    A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."

    "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."

    The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to see dad."

    Dad said, "Bring Belle over here."

    He took a rag, soaked it with petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, "OK, you can go now. Keep Belle on the leash and only go around the block once."

    The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

    The little girl said, "She ran out of petrol about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
     
    UncleMike and MotoTriumphant like this.
  11. justenjoy

    justenjoy Well-Known Member
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    So for the contest, here goes nothing.

     
  12. jj14x

    jj14x Android Expert
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    Congratulations to the winners (whoever they were) :)
     
  13. scary alien

    scary alien not really so scary
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    space alien ;)
    Indy
    Not sure we know yet...and it may still run until tomorrow night (looks like the contest end day of week and date are a bit off)...:dontknow:

    :)
     
  14. vandyman

    vandyman Android Expert
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    ? :thinking:
     
    g01851 likes this.
  15. MotoTriumphant

    MotoTriumphant Android Enthusiast
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    I wonder who won....:eek:
     
  16. iowabowtech

    iowabowtech root@android:/ #
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    Hey gang, I sent TechArmor a PM. I'm guessing they're probably kicking out holiday orders and it slipped their mind to get back to the thread. :)
     
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  17. jj14x

    jj14x Android Expert
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    Ha ha! I didn't even notice that! Doh!
     
    scary alien likes this.
  18. CoachEVO

    CoachEVO Well-Known Member
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    Let's hope we find out eventually.
     
  19. Rxpert83

    Rxpert83 Dr. Feelgood
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    I assume I won all of the prizes after my submission and the contest stopped there.

    I'll let you know when my packages arrive ;)
     
  20. BigCiX

    BigCiX Android Expert
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    We ever found out who won?
     
  21. mysticalnyte

    mysticalnyte Well-Known Member
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    Maybe their still laughing at all the jokes.
     
  22. vandyman

    vandyman Android Expert
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    EDITED for my stupidity.......;)
     
  23. TechArmor

    TechArmor Lurker
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    Great job everyone! We had a great time reading all the jokes and have chosen the winners as follows. I will direct message the winners for more info!

    jj14x

    UncleMike

    BigCix

    mk_ultra19

    SammanthaX345

    MotoTriumphant

    Ranhead

    vandyman

    mysticalnyte

    CoachEVO

    justenjoy
     
  24. jj14x

    jj14x Android Expert
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    Thank you! Email sent :)
     
  25. BigCiX

    BigCiX Android Expert
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    After losing the Mega lotto, my fantasy football playoff game and eBay bid for danner boots I finally win something.
     
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