Reminder & calendar help?

My wife and I finally have smart phones (LG Optimus V), and think Android is amazing!

Currently, we have Google Calendar (mine and hers) that we overlay.
I'm looking for a native calendar app which will allow:

1. Monthly view with tiny text
2. Sync events with Google Calendar
3. Task reminders that are local only (I don't want My wife's calendar to be cluttered by my personal reminders, but I would still like to see them on the calendar, if possible). An example is that I may need a reminder for work that my wife doesn't need to see, but I would like to be able to see at a glance.
4. Easy to create and edit reminders.
5. Customized alert options (1 ring, 5 rings, ring until cancelled, nag style, etc).
6. A pop-up for reminder would be great!
7. Set reminder x hrs before due
8. I would like the tasks list to show day, date, time, and possibly if an alarm has been set.
9. Speech-to-text. I do have Google Voice.

It would be nice if the tasks synced with Google Calendar, but it probably isn't necessary as long as I can easily view them in the native app/calendar.

I apologize for the mundane request, but my head is spinning from looking at all of the possibilities, and I have a headache trying to figure out how to get it all to work.

So far, I have the native calendar (does not show monthly view w/text; no nag reminder). But it is easy to set reminders on.

Jorte: nice interface. Has alarms for events but NOT tasks. This is a problem, because events will auto-sync with our main calendar.

Astrid: very customizable (multiple alarm settings, for example), but it doesn't appear to be integral with the calendar. It does create a task in GMail. Optimally, I would like to be able to tap a date on the calendar and add a task w/reminder alarms rather than use a separate app.
Also, the Task list does not show the day/date/time due: it states "tomorrow 1730" or "Friday 1700." It also requires a lot of steps to enter a task. Interestingly, I am able to use Google Voice for task entry, despite it being the free version.

I have considered something like Calendar Snooze to allow reminders for my Jorte tasks, but I'm unsure if it will work, or how simple it is. I have also heard that it is a heavy app, and my phone is not a heavyweight in processing power.

Nudnik has my attention...

Business calendar: might be able to replace Jorte IF it has a good reminder setup which can be divorced from our primary calendars.

I have considered using Jorte and creating a personal Google Calendar which would only show events to me. BUT, when creating a task (event) in Jorte, it would probably be cumbersome (impossible?) to direct that event only to the personal calendar.

Ok...now my head really hurts. Is there a reliable and simple solution? I don't mind paying for a good app or two to get the job done.

Many thanks,
Bob