Google decided some years ago that it would be clever/cute(*) to hide "developer options" as an Easter Egg. So what you have to do if find the "build number" in your phone's software information and tap repeatedly on that until it tells you that you are now a developer. Then you will have that menu in your settings.
(*) I don't know what they were thinking, but it's neither of these. However, since this is a family-friendly forum I cannot say what it really is.