I had the Dare before and I was never to just be able to tap to screen to wake it up(otherwise my phone would be constantly making phone calls when in my pocket) unless it was just a few seconds after the call or text and the phone's screen was just dimmed (not off) because the dare "woke up" on the receipt of a text and missed call...

But as for the incredible, which only "wakes up" when a call is being received and not when a text is received if you are using the stock message app, (I believe there is other market apps that will wake the phone on the receipt of a text, Handcent I think.), the only other option to wake your phone is to press the optical joystick button, but you can only do that if you are rooted.

 

You do not need to be rooted to use the optical joystick to wake the phone. Widgetlocker and other lock screen apps allow you to do this.