I don't have children but there is definitely a few things I recommend that you should try to never do and carefully keep a close eye on (well at least I would)
My father has always had a very bad temper and when ever something didn't quite go his way he would start throwing things around the house - he has smashed and gone through a lot of phones in his life from smashing them.
Drills, spanners - he has thrown so many things around the house I hate it so much.
My father has terrible road rage - when ever the tiniest thing doesn't go his way he will start going beserk and start slamming his breaks on like a 2 year old child that never learned any manners or empathy.
I have lost count how many times I have got out of the car in the middle of no where and slammed the door on him only to have him screaming to put my seat belt back on and demand that I get back in the car. Yelling and shouting all the way.
Don't be too hard on your children and let go of the small things - they are mostly minor anyway - because I grew up in a very strict household where I never back chatted my father and his word was the alpha and the omega and my views were meaningless.
For example I have clear memories of when I used to eat with my fork upside down and my father would go mad and slam his fists on the dinner table yelling at me almost screaming "A FORK IS NOT A SHOVEL OR SPOON - EAT WITH YOUR FORK PROPERLY!!!"
My father also used to love yelling and shouting like almost at least once per day he is horrible and unpleasant to be around at times.
I have a lot of problems with my father today and believe he was too strict and far too harsh on me at times and was very unreasonable / difficult and definitely very unpleasant to be around.
I hate doing almost anything with him as a result of never being able to remember a single time where there was no yelling and shouting or tempter tantrum throwing like a little boy.
I hate doing ANY handy work with him as it just leads to shouting and screaming I cannot remember a single time when he didn't start yelling and throwing things around the house because something wasn't going exactly as planned.
Also don't make your children have to financially support you one day like what I have had to do with my slightly ugly father / parents - especially if you have yelled at your children a lot and gave your children a hard time - consider it a miracle if they help you at all like in the future like what I have done.
I am not a father but these are some of the things I would never do to my children. I don't want my children to have to support me ever. That is totally unfair.
I also don't want to tell at my children I will demand a calm, quiet, tranquil and peaceful household.
If they want to yell and scream they must go live outside on the street. I will tell them to pack their bags and leave immediately. I don't want a stressful household for my children. It must be quite and calm / peaceful.
I think we all get angry but when I get angry it is for an extremely / very good reason (like operations putting everyone's lives in serious danger) not because I got called by somebody at dinner time and I start yelling because the house phone rang at dinner time... Just quietly unplug the phone and carry on enjoying dinner with your family in a friendly and peaceful manner
Also just let your children be sometimes and experience things on their own (obviously only in a safe manner though within reason - for example no late nights out or something dangerous if your city is dangerous ect or your children are too young but also depends on the maturity / intelligence of your unique child. Some might be fine but I can't give exact advice on that as it is unique to the situation I think) - my father always used to take up A LOT of my time... I hated watching the news with my dad because he would start yelling at the presenter and complain about his hair cut like a little child and I didn't want to come watch the news with him just because he would start yelling at what was going on when I just wanted to play games or do something I would much prefer to be interested in.
I actually just don't really like my father I don't care if he has the patent for reverse software engineering because he was a dick of a father.
I actually hate him sometimes.
Your children are only young / children once - let them be and allow them to enjoy themselves and enjoy this short life and beautiful / magical world we live in - do what makes them happy not what makes you happy
Please note my father has changed a lot over the years but still it has left a lot of pain in my life and our relationship has never really been that great. Problems problems problems. It has always been problematic my relationship with my family and I. Especially with my father and I. There is a lot of pain there because I never had a loving father that actually really cared about me.
Sometimes I think my father was a ****ing narcissist that only gave a shit about himself and what made him happy and not what made his children happy.
Sometimes I feel like a plank of ****ing wood was more loving than my family was.
Sometimes I feel like my father is to blame for me going into a semi institution when I had a nervous breakdown and I went to a place for people who were having high stressslevels or a nervous breakdown. This happened on my 18th birthday. Sad isn't it?
My mother wasn't that great either and just took my stupid father's side.
It hasn't always been the best and has been very hard for me. But luckily it has changed a bit better over the years but only ever so slightly. Still the scars are there.
I sometimes feel cancer has taught my dad nothing. We don't have a real or good quality relationship.
It could have been way worse though but still it wasn't that good.
And lastly don't beat yourself up!
You are not perfect even though I can see you try as hard to be near perfect and it's wonderful to see such a caring soul it is very admirable and almost non nonexistent these days - so there is no such thing as a perfect dad / parent / human being so don't be too hard on yourself as well
So please don't be too hard on yourself and know that you might make mistakes but don't think it is a big deal that is where a lot of confusion can come in and know that you care very much and it is something so many people wish they could have had a caring father like yourself that had real love and tried your absolute best
And a massive hats off to you for asking such an important question!
You have already won the war because your heart is definitely in the right place!
The details of the journey are not so important once your compass is correct
Well done!
I can see you are extremely caring and that is what really counts a huge amount at the end of the day!
That is what makes an exceptional parent!
The one that cares
And your children will always love you because you cared very deeply and tried your absolute best and nobody can ask you for any more that that!
Wow, guess I hit a nerve there Stinky?
