Vibrate on incoming call: NOT optional?

I've put up with this for FAR too long.

Since the new update, my droid bionic absolutely refuses to turn off ringer AND vibrate. Turning off the sound ALWAYS enables vibrate. My volume control displays the "vibrate" icon as soon as the volume reaches zero.

So basically, if someone decides to call me at 1:30 AM, I HAVE to be woken up. If I am in class, I HAVE to get dirty looks from the professor or risk getting kicked out.

I am not turning my phone off and on 85 times a day. This is absolutely the most RIDICULOUS problem with a cellphone I've ever had- or maybe I am just grumpy from being awoken in the middle of the night by "BUZZZZZ BUZZZZZ" and not falling back asleep until 4 am.

Is there ANY way to correct this HORRENDOUSLY stupid problem with the latest android update?

Is it beyond comprehension that at midnight, I don't give a crap that I am being called?