While it doesn't address your main concerns of: 1) being easily customizable 2) not needing root, have you tried Metamorph?
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=stericson.xda.metamorph
How to MetaMorph/Theme - xda-developers
It's fairly straightforward to change icons like that. But NANDroids should be made and care should be taken, because it's easy for things to go wrong. So yeah, not as easy as changing the wallpaper (which I agree, it should be that easy to slap in some pngs to change icons), but it is possible to quickly assimilate icons into a new ROM, if a rooted user truly wishes to do it.
I liked Metamorph but a mishap with it required me to do a nandroid restore and I lost interest. Take a look at the attached images. I feel that the common user shouldn't have to root just to change the image in the first attachment to be more visually appealing like the image in the second attachment. If I have to stare at a device the whole time I'm using it's going to need at least some aesthetic value.
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