Hi divinebovine, I'm afraid any newsletter I wrote would be of little use to anyone as nearly everything I've done has been as the result of research, experimentation, guesswork, and the work of others!
However, as you asked... My first tentative steps towards rejuvenating my aging phone were to integrate my own choice of browser and keyboard into internal memory, after which I froze the default apps in question and left them installed for a week to see how things worked. The aforementioned apps I froze caused no issues and I was able to un-install them eventually. I then tried freezing messaging, calendar, email, Gmail, live wallpapers, Google search, gallery, and music (I use my own choice of music player etc.) Freezing messaging, email, Gmail caused problems so I re-instated them and un-installed the others after a week of no problems.
Again, moving apps from/to system rom was a matter of experimentation along with a bit of juggling to see how things went. I found that if I could do without widgets for particular apps, or I could manage to put up with having to set apps as defaults on each boot, I could juggle a lot more but in the end I found I had to compromise with some apps and allow them to remain as system. I integrated all system updates into system too of course.
I then downloaded "vm heap tool" (from xda I think, though may be on market/play) and followed its recommendations and went from 32mb heap to 64mb (which oddly enough gave me 84mb heap, which despite my best intentions, I never got around to investigating why) This by itself seemed to make a huge difference to my system.
As mentioned in a previous post, I use "quick system info pro" to track my apps behaviour and see which causes stutter/lag, which processes restart if killed etc. This helps me decide what apps I should keep, which I should freeze/defrost as required, and which I can safely kill as desired (I will continue killing apps despite all the documented evidence I shouldn't as it works for *me*)
I hope my disjointed ramblings are of some use to you and I wish you good luck in your endeavours.
I highly recommend: titanium backup pro and clockwork mod, as they gave me the confidence to throw apps hither and thither safe in the knowledge I could always rollback. Vm heap tool worked wonders for me so consider trying it. Sdmaid cleared up for me with narry an issue. Quick system info pro is perfect for me - though you may prefer a more up-to-date application. For all the aforementioned apps I salute the developers whose abilities and talents seem to be so far beyond anything I could hope to do.
Unfortunately, your dalvik cache issues are not something I've come across before and I'm sorry I can't offer help or advice on the matter though I do wish you the best of luck in resolving them.