Mixed thoughts and emotions...

[rootabaga]

I'm writing this with jumbled thoughts and mixed emotions.

For almost fifteen years I've been blessed to work with/for one of my best friends, whom I'll call Mike. We've known each other for nearly thirty years, and Mike is the one who told me about the vacancy for my present job and was instrumental in me getting hired. At the time it was a huge decision, and today it doesn't seem like it was fifteen years ago that I was struggling with it (it involved a career change and an interstate move).

Yesterday, Mike turned in his two weeks' notice. I know he hasn't been really contented for a while (he's the manager of our division, the departmental boss above him changed out about 18 months ago and Mike's job hasn't been a ton of fun since then; indeed, morale in the entire department has suffered). In fact, when he told me about his decision privately, I mentioned that for the past few weeks I've been thinking of asking him if he was considering moving on.

It's going to be really strange coming to work without his presence here. Aside from being a true friend, Mike has been a great boss, pretty much hands-off so long as the work is getting done, not too worried about work area appearance, etc. (a few of us are pretty messy), keeping us all working together as a team and smoothing the rough edges. I'm really happy for Mike, as he's found a similar position that is higher up the food chain in a different organization (he's going from being a division manager to becoming a department director), but I'm not looking forward to the changes that will ensue. For one thing, Mike has been a great insulator from some of the quirky/nonsensical standards and policies elsewhere practiced throughout our organization, and it's going to be odd to have to start "toeing the line" on everything after being here this long. Not to mention that I don't know how often I'll get to see him since our lives outside of work are pretty busy.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this since it's really weighing on my head and heart right now, and we're kind of a wierd little family here on the forum.

Wishing you all stability and happiness in 2016...

 

[dan330]

hey man.. I get you.

but life does move on..
one door closes.. another opens.

Mike is moving on.. and up. wish him well.

you will too...

 

[lunatic59]

Been there, done that ... sorta.

I was in the same building (my office was just down the hall) with my best friend for close to 10 years. We would go to lunch almost every day, help each other out in crunch situations and hang out after work. It was me who moved out and moved on for too many reasons to go into. I think he was a disappointed and maybe even a little hurt, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. That was 15 years ago.

He's still my best friend and i still see him a lot even though he moved 50 miles away. It's going to be different and possibly weird for a while, but it's human nature to get comfortable with routine, so you'll all figure it out. Of course he sounds like he was a true manager and if he's replaced by a petty functionary who is a brown-nosing company stooge, I'd be dusting off the ole resume (CV to those across the pond )

Who knows, his replacement could be a Scarlet Johansson look alike with an MBA from Harvard.

 

[olbriar]

Friends move in and out of one's life. It's just the way it works. It's impossible to walk the same path forever. However, real friends will remain friends. And the time spent together, though less frequent, will be rewarding and treasured without a daily dose. Changes should be viewed as an adventure and explored for potential betterment. Good luck.

 

[argedion]

I wish you the best.

 

[Deleted User]

I completely understand your feelings. Can't really add much more to the good comments so far, but I wish you all the best and hope things work out, whatever happens.

 

[dan330]

in range of early retirement?

from what I have seen so far.. form others.
that is on shaky ground..
they can save a lot of money.. by replacing you early.

keep your head down.. and out of target view

 

[olbriar]

These forums are a big family and we all fit in somehow... even me It's always good to have a place to go where people care. It would be just a forum if not for it's wonderful members.

 

[argedion]

It would be just a forum if not for it's wonderful members.

+++++1

 

[Deleted User]

These forums are a big family and we all fit in somehow... even me It's always good to have a place to go where people care. It would be just a forum if not for it's wonderful members.

I agree, the members are what makes a forum. I've been on many forums, and invariably I encountered forum members with unreasonable attitudes. Either that, or moderators with a God complex. There is none of that here, and all the people seem to get along, with no friction. The moderation is firm but fair, which is also good to see, and appreciated.

 

[olbriar]

Your fiver is in the mail

 

[dan330]

I want to disagree.. and say something bad...





cant think of any at the moment.
grrrr.....

 

[Deleted User]

Your fiver is in the mail

bank transfer is fine

 

[Gmash]

Any chance you could move up into your friend's old job?

 

[Deleted User]

I'm not sure they would promote me, but I honestly wouldn't want his job -- for most of the same reasons he decided to leave. Part of me thinks I should go for it, though, and then announce early retirement, since my retirement would be based on a higher salary.
Seriously, though, I don't think I could hack it, just too many headaches...and for not enough money. One thing I've learned over the years is that while money can't buy happiness, it's also not enough to alleviate miserable-ness.

Absolutely agree. I often think that a middle management or team leader job is the worst possible hell. Not only do you get pressure coming down from above, and are expected to put in more hours, which impacts on your personal life, you have to sort out the issues in the team. And having witnessed the kind of horrible inter-personal issues that can occur, that's not easy. Plus you may have to fire people or reprimand them. Not a pleasant job. It's why I have no ambitions for promotion. I'm happy hacking away at my code, I like it. I'm never going to get ultra rich, or have an expensive fast car, but I have a decent lifestyle, and I'm happy.

 

[Curtis1973]

Hey since he's moving on and moving up...no reason you cant go along with him lol...ride them coat tails!! im sure if he is going elsewhere in a promoted position...he will need a dependable person he knows he can count on. he got you on before...knows you well. and you guys get along. i think its time to sit down and talk with him. see what he thinks.