got it figured out. for anyone else that might be having the same issues, the SMSC number has to be entered in PDU hexadecimal. so once you find your carrier's SMSC number, just find a converter online, and plug the number in.
thats what i did and all is well now. i can finally enjoy my phone!
recap:
1. find carriers SMSC number (mine is +19074442504)
2. convert said number to PDU Hexadecimal format
3. from the keypad dial *#*#4636#*#*
4. go to phone information
5. scroll down to SMSC number
6. enter in the PDU/Hex number
7. hit update
this took me a several hours of troubleshooting and research. the other option is to put your sim card into a different phone that will allow you to change the SMSC number, and will take it in the normal format (no need to convert), save it, and plug the sim back into the nexus. i havent tried this, but it should work as well if you have another phone laying around. i think a blackberry would do it.