How to deal with competitive/immature behavior?


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  1. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    Okay.

    My mom's boyfriend and his daughter are very competitive about everything. They go on about how good they are and how I suck. They even laugh when I make simple mistakes.

    I need your help.

    What would be an intelligent, mature response to any competitive remark.

    Like, what could I say that will make them think twice about their behavior?

    I am not friends with either one of them, so I won't try to go soft on them. I just need an intelligent, mature response to their behavior.

    Any suggestions?
     

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  2. Kelmar

    Kelmar Done by choice VIP Member

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    IMO, just ignore them and kill them with kindness -OR- call them out and tell them that it's rude and inconsiderate and that they should be ashamed of themselves.

    Either way, unfortunately, they aren't likely to change. :(


    I know, mean people suck :mad:
     
  3. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    I've been ignoring them, but they keep getting in my face about it. I just need a very intelligent statement that I can use to put an end to it. :)
     
  4. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    when I was little, I was always competitive towards my cousin. he would give me thse intellignet quotes and stuff. it helped me realize that competitive behavior was pointless. I forgot what he said though!! :(
     
  5. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

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    Ok, first I would be asking my mom why she was with someone that so obviously treat me like crap.

    Second, I would point out that if they were really that much better then they wouldn't ever have to bring it up.

    I don't think you will find a universal comment that will work for all situations though. If you wanted to get more specific then I am sure that some of the people around can come up with some pretty good responses.
     
  6. Familyguy1

    Familyguy1 Well-Known Member

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    Contact your cousin then?

    Yeah, its tough dealing with that in your face attitude people have.
     
  7. smacky

    smacky Banned

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    I think we all have that one person we know that has to one-up whatever someone says. Or say they knew about something a long time ago, but only once someone else mentions it first.

    Hell, I've been guilty of it sometimes. You realize that feeling comes from inadequacy. If you can comprehend that, I think you've already won, or should at least find it easier to ignore them.


    "If I wanted my own comeback, I'd wipe it off your mom's chin."
    You mentioned a "comeback" and while this absolutely has nothing to do with your situation right now, I suggest you use it on someone to get the amazing feeling at how "oh snap" it really is. I used it this weekend in front of twenty people I didn't know (redneck frat parties :rolleyes: ) and I instantly won every one over. I was showered with wine, carried in the air, and left with women. No not really. It was courtesy of Lamebook, and I thank them profusely for it.
     
  8. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    yeah, my mom hates them too.

    well the bf's daughter started driving illegally (she's 14, no permit) and she always drives around showing off and she always asks if she can drive and her dad always says yes..
     
  9. smacky

    smacky Banned

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    You sure this has nothing to do with John and Yoko, Paul?
     
  10. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    Lol, nah. :p
     
  11. Pop Korn

    Pop Korn Member

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    You really make me feel intelligent -- especially when you talk.

    Not only do you _________ surprisingly well, you *smell* better than most ugly chicks.

    Yeah, but in four years, she'll be just another college graduate looking for a job. *You'll* be a Home Depot assistant manager with four years of work experience.

    Not mine I just copy and paste.
     
  12. dunn2010

    dunn2010 Active Member

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    One way to make him STFU would involve 3 of your mates and 4 basebal bats... but if you dont want to go down that route. Just pick on their flaws?

    is he shorter than you? napoleon syndrome
    find flaws in their physical appearance - > is he going to bald , obvious thing to pick on is his age, at work we have friendly banter and one thing i can throw at everyone here is the fact their all older than me (myself being 20 :D )


    Dont want everyone to think i'm a prick by telling you this but it is the best way, i've had people like that before and you gotta get yourself in conrtol to the point where your the one annoying them, you have to be the one to leave the bait and wait for them to bite ;).

    (if all else fails just go with the baseball bat idea)
     
  13. OfTheDamned

    OfTheDamned The Friendly Undead VIP Member

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    Trying to figure out at this point why she would be with the guy if she doesn't like him, but that isn't the point I guess.

    If he is letting her drive illegally then I would probably say something like:

    "Way to teach her right from wrong there, Chuck." (I just figure the guy would be named Chuck, no idea why)

    or

    "It's a good thing you're letting her drive now, with the respect you're teaching her for the law I'm sure she won't get much of a chance in prison."

    or

    "Oh, great! Are you going to let her text at the same time now too?"

    or

    "Are you sure you don't want to give her a fifth of Jack first?"

    or, if you really want to push it

    "So, are you stopping off for cigarettes, beer and condoms?" When they give you the inevitable strange look just say, "Oh, I figured you wanted her to learn everything early." You could also throw in something about picking out her stripper name too. :D

    This just basically points out the stupidity of what they are doing.
     
  14. copestag

    copestag Well-Known Member

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    or just simply wait til the next time shes driving somewhere and inform the police...... have them both arrested........ then ask them whos better..... the person in jail or you
     
  15. krouget

    krouget Well-Known Member

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    In my experience, even if you found something you could say to them, it wouldn't change much in the short-term. People like that usually need something significant to occur in their lives, before they realize it would be a good idea to change their behavior (at least for the daughter).

    Of course, sometimes this doesn't happen, but this is why its better to ignore them, and continue to occupy yourself with your own business, surrounding yourself with better people. For all you know, your ignoring them could very well be working, hence why they continue to push, but its a patient 'game'.

    Interestingly enough, emphasizing a strong(er) relationship with your mother might have an interesting affect, in the case of her BF (or perhaps you already have one, hence his reaction?). From what I've seen, most of these people are rather insecure, and get riled up when not given a response, or see that another person is comfortable with who they are. It's a more indirect/obscure approach, but they starve without the immediate attention.

    (I just realized the daughter was 14...looks like dad is the real issue, here.)

    Lol, thats just funny.
     
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  16. ranwalk

    ranwalk New Member

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    Or just tell them to grow up. Man thats to bad they treat you taht way. I had a son-in-law that never talked to me and treated me like I didnt exist now hes gone and I am glad my daugher got rid of him-I just wont tell her. :)
     
  17. dunn2010

    dunn2010 Active Member

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    Or... you could take some diggs from his daughter, try and get along with her, try and have a laugh, try and take her out sometime. Then sleep with her in the car shes driving illeagaly and you can forever put to him the fact that you f***ed his daughter in that car.

    or you could go find his mum, chat her up, sleep with her and then say "howd you like it when im sleeping with your Mum!!"
     
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  18. Pryomancer

    Pryomancer Well-Known Member

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    If they have to keep pointing out how good they are, they've got a serious inferiority complex.

    I say call the police when she goes out driving.
     
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  19. Aiyan

    Aiyan Well-Known Member

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    As Pryomancer said, for me it's just show a bit insane version of inferiority complex. Not much you can do about it. By commenting this I assume he will defend it with claws and nails, so really not much you can do other shake you head and ignore it.

    I also agree with some of the statements OTD made, but it's hard dealing with people that do have a inferiority complex since you don't really know what you should say then.

    So its bit up to you with you want to do with this, I'm actually very surprised you haven't gutted them up yet with words. So guess you're already a better person than me that way, since I wouldn't let myself be in that position and probably might verbally harassed his insecurity to just get them to stop with in your face comments.

    So I give you kudos to keep up with them and unfortunately there is no good way to deal with people like that.
     
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  20. IMHO, don't bother with a cutting comeback. It would only lower you to their level. Just smile and move on. Be the better person.

    And yeah, gotta second OTD on talking to your mom about this. You shouldn't have to suffer because of her choice.
     
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  21. Good luck, BTW.
     
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  22. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    I'm always in the car when shes driving. Only once we took two separate cars to go somewhere.
     
  23. PaulMcCartney

    PaulMcCartney Well-Known Member This Topic's Starter

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    When my sister had trouble opening the front door with the keys, he called her, "f***ing stupid."
     
  24. Familyguy1

    Familyguy1 Well-Known Member

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    Can I ask a question: If this is all going on and your mom knows about it, why not have her break up with him since he seems to be a total ass...
     
  25. Thefoodman52

    Thefoodman52 Well-Known Member

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    Some people are just thick headed and don't want to face the reality of what's going on around them... kind of like shock if they just saw someone blow their brains out mere feet in front of them. It hits them what just happened, but they retreat in their head and mentally try to escape from the reality because it's too harsh for them. This is usually when a therapist of a firm slap across the face brings someone in this position out of the trance they're in.
     

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