What's More Useless Than...

[rootabaga]

I'm sure we've heard all the old sayings along these lines, but with all of the creative and handy folks here, I thought it might be fun to start a thread where we can collect some comparisons that are a bit more original.

Let's please try to keep it clean, and it's probably better if we steer clear of hot-button topics.

I came up with the idea for the thread after installing a ball-style door latch...and let's just say that while "a good workman always blames his/her tools," the tools themselves are still his/her responsibility.

 

[Dngrsone]

Keeping it clean, so I won't mention the boar hog...

Courtesy of Weird Al: "... about as useless as jpegs (.jpg's) to Helen Keller."

 

[dan330]

love advice from a priest

see .. I kept it clean!

 

[AZgl1500]

toilet paper to a baby,

see, I almost kept it clean

 

[The_Chief]

A screen door on a submarine.

Spoiler

Then again, it DOES keep the fish out

 

[Dngrsone]

Hrm... does "soup sandwich" count?

I use other aphorisms on a regular basis, like "Sharp as a bowling ball" and "Subtle as a chainsaw", but not very many useless things, unless it's "stick a fork in it, it's done."

 

[dan330]

5.25 floppy drive in a new tablet

 

[AZgl1500]

5.25 floppy drive in a new tablet

speaking of which, just yesterday I found a brand new box full of Sony 5.25" diskettes....
I left them where I found them, in my cabinet.... memories are made of things like that.

 

[dan330]

little black books for contacts

 

[Dngrsone]

Wite-out for a word processor

 

[Clementine_3]

A day planner

 

[Fox Mulder]

A Windows phone?

 

[mikedt]

A Windows phone?

A BlackBerry in China!

 

[Fox Mulder]

A BlackBerry in China!

Or these days, a Blackberry in the USA.

 

[AZgl1500]

A Maxxon 40 channel Trucker's CB radio?

I just found one in my shop a bit ago, brand new in the box yet....
was looking for some tools that have been hiding for 5 years since I moved here from Arizona.

 

[Fox Mulder]

A Maxxon 40 channel Trucker's CB radio?

I just found one in my shop a bit ago, brand new in the box yet....
was looking for some tools that have been hiding for 5 years since I moved here from Arizona.

Actually people still do use those, not like the old days when everyone had a CB but truckers and others who do a lot of interstate/highway driving continue to use them. Put it up for sale on Craigslist or Ebay and it will sell.

 

[Dngrsone]

It isn't popular here in the southwest, but it's still useful on long road trips, and particularly back east.

 

[AZgl1500]

On my Goldwing, it has a CB and I listened yesterday to ch19 for over 400 miles, only heard one half of a conversation.... and 100 miles on I-40, and 100 miles on US 412 in Oklahoma.
The Goldwing has a nice squelch circuit that lets me listen to FM radio and mutes the radio if the CB opens up.

 

[mikedt]

I know CB is still used in Russia a lot, as taxi radio.

 

[Jfalls63]

I guess everyone has heard of a "football bat".

 

[Dngrsone]

I guess everyone has heard of a "football bat".

Is that like a basketball racquet?

 

[dan330]

honest lawyer... that cant help anyone

 

[dan330]

a female jock strap

 

[Revenant Ghost]

A hard-bricked Android phone?

 

[Dngrsone]

Caffeine-free Diet cola...

Seriously, you drinking it for the caramel coloring?