Family

PhilipX20 · Jul 3, 2018

I used to love my family, sisters and parents (sadly never had a brother) but recently it's gotten to a point when talking to them is just impossible. They mock me for wanting a better life on my own, make fun of me for such, think of me as unreliable and childish and to top all that, suicide has come to mind. Obviously I try to steer away from that since I value my life and want to one day have a family of my own.
If it wasn't for the fact they're blood relatives I'd probably never see or talk to them since they go as far as breaking me mentally and kind of take the will to live.
The rest of my family (uncles, etc) aren't much better either so I guess it's a family thing they inherited.
I decided to block their phone numbers so I don't have to deal with them, at least in this manner. They also constantly ask me about Facebook for which I do not have, but if I did I'd not add them, either.
Anyway, I know what I want for my life and what my goals are so regardless of their attitudes, I'm always trying to stay focused on it.

zuben el genub · Jul 3, 2018

PhilipX20 said:
I used to love my family, sisters and parents (sadly never had a brother) but recently it's gotten to a point when talking to them is just impossible. They mock me for wanting a better life on my own, make fun of me for such, think of me as unreliable and childish and to top all that, suicide has come to mind. Obviously I try to steer away from that since I value my life and want to one day have a family of my own.
If it wasn't for the fact they're blood relatives I'd probably never see or talk to them since they go as far as breaking me mentally and kind of take the will to live.
The rest of my family (uncles, etc) aren't much better either so I guess it's a family thing they inherited.
I decided to block their phone numbers so I don't have to deal with them, at least in this manner. They also constantly ask me about Facebook for which I do not have, but if I did I'd not add them, either.
Anyway, I know what I want for my life and what my goals are so regardless of their attitudes, I'm always trying to stay focused on it.

zuben el genub · Jul 3, 2018

A lot of us here can feel your pain. Please keep talking to us and we will answer back. Sometimes just knowing that a hug or a good thought is sent your way can help you feel more positive.

Deleted User · Jul 3, 2018

You're not alone in having family problems.

PhilipX20 · Jul 5, 2018

What luck! I always tried to be fun and friendly with my nephews but they've just gotten more hostile and rude towards me to the point they'll actually hit me, so regardless that I tell them not to they still do it and I'm the culprit when I try to stop them from attacking me.

Now, I have a Dragon Ball collection that I've been putting together for years now which is in one of my pops' place but as I visited now.. two DS games are missing and two packs of cards are missing. Of course, this pissed me the right off because I know what I've always had there as I've always liked to glance at it every once in a while. Now it's not there anymore and they're claiming they didn't took it.

I have photos that prove the games were there before and one of them even asked me excessively to give him a game. Surprise, surprise.. now it isn't here.

I really lucked out with my family members. Gonna get those games and cards back, sell it all and never speak to that part of the family - The mother of the kids is my sister and she hates me so even more fuel to the fire that I won't even ever bother to speak to her, or the damn kids.

My door of the room was always locked when I was away so as it was left opened before they came in, did what they want and took what they want. Plus, the gaming console boxes were all out of place, cables, etc.

This and other stuff has been giving me headaches and that's one thing I really wish I didn't have to deal with. Sigh.

zuben el genub · Jul 5, 2018

Hang in there. Big wish sent. You are not in the US, are you? I know we have rights and support groups.

PhilipX20 · Jul 6, 2018

zuben el genub said:
Hang in there. Big wish sent. You are not in the US, are you? I know we have rights and support groups.

Bud, you guessed right. I live in Portugal but will be working in towards to getting an American citizenship as per the law indicates. I love my country but it's kind of dead inside, nothing really to do and to make up for it most just go to cafes to socialize, drink and smoke and same the next day.

I do wish I could change my country for the better but I'm no politician.

Stealing from family.. that's the one thing you don't do and that was pretty much the final nail in the coffin. I was already on thin ice with that side of the family and now they've done it but still, they have to return what they stole. To me, that's more than just games and cards. It has sentimental value as it's something I've always liked seeing on display and it took me years to get it at a good price.

KBU2 · Jul 6, 2018

Be patient and all you've lost will come back to you 7 fold but not in a way it was taken, but in a way you will realize that you were always above them no matter what the odds was and all the wrong things people have dealt you, they will soon get theirs 7 fold. So stay diligent with a pure heart and you will soon see yourself rise above all the others like no one has seen you rise before.

lunatic59 · Jul 6, 2018

@PhilipX20 , the best advice I can give you is to use your experiences with your family to teach you how not to treat others in the future.

If you want other's family stories, I think you'd be surprised exactly how alone you are NOT with stuff like this.

KBU2 · Jul 6, 2018

zuben el genub · Jul 7, 2018

Families can be hateful to each other. We have a political situation here that is dividing some families if you scan news aggregators that include "Dear Abby" types.

A 92 year old woman just shot and killed her 70 year old son. He and his wife said they would provide care, but then decided to put her in a nursing home. Elders do get ripped off by kids.

People are mostly the same everywhere. It's just how your laws deal with them. You can't legislate sane behavior.

dontpanicbobby · Jul 7, 2018

My family is spread across America but I've only visited the South (Georgia)

I plan to visit my family out West (Nevada) on Thanksgiving.

My family in the Southwest (Texas) is not ready for me.

PhilipX20 · Jul 8, 2018

I'm normally a calm and relaxed guy but this really irked me a lot, I've told my parents that 'my' room in their countryside house is to be kept locked when I'm away and they let in kids, thing they don't realize is that I've spent a lot of dough on what they might think it was just cheap stuff. Plus, as I've said it has sentimental value so if I do have to part ways with it, I'll sell it myself than have it robbed.

It's bad enough when someone gets robbed, but even worse is when he/she is mugged by a family member.

dontpanicbobby said:
My family is spread across America but I've only visited the South (Georgia)

I plan to visit my family out West (Nevada) on Thanksgiving.

My family in the Southwest (Texas) is not ready for me.

Most of my blood relatives I don't see them for years and that's fine, they sometimes can be worse than strangers so might as well not see them at all.

We don't get to choose our families but we can choose our ways.

PhilipX20 · Jul 28, 2018

An update; So, I do quite like my family and all that (*some) but being around them makes me have headaches, distracted from what's important and can't do what I want. Rather, they usually want me just to be with them as if I was still a kid.
----
I intend on getting an American citizenship (I know it won't be easy) once I'm done with my driving license (which is close to the finish line, pun intended) so, even though they want me around.. I need to have my own life which they've been somewhat locking away because they want me with them at all times, cause I'm their only son admittedly while the rest are daughters.
----
I seriously don't want to end up like my cousins who never built a family of their own, and are seriously lazy in doing anything. To be honest, I quite like their parents and if we cross paths, I'm always happy to help them in what I can.

dontpanicbobby · Aug 5, 2018

Hmm..
I love my couisins. Haven't robbed me yet.

KBU2 · Aug 5, 2018

If it's left up to America's current Administration, it's not going to be easy for anyone entering or trying to stay in the United States.

lunatic59 · Aug 5, 2018

KBU2 said:
If it's left up to America's current Administration, it's not going to be easy for anyone entering or trying to stay in the United States.

That's not entirely true. If you do it by the numbers, apply for a visa and have all the proper checks, it's still very doable. It the people who show up at the border with their families and possessions crying "let me in" that are the problem.

https://www.wikihow.com/Immigrate-Into-the-United-States-Permanently

PhilipX20 · Aug 5, 2018

lunatic59 said:
That's not entirely true. If you do it by the numbers, apply for a visa and have all the proper checks, it's still very doable. It the people who show up at the border with their families and possessions crying "let me in" that are the problem.

https://www.wikihow.com/Immigrate-Into-the-United-States-Permanently

Yeah, this. I know it won't be easy but neither will it be impossible either, I'm going to do everything legally so it'll take some patience, time and money.

I'm not a fan of Trump due to decisions he made though I once was, but he has done a lot of good. Folks in the West think that Trump, Brexit and being against the EU is considered a bad thing but actually, they just want to close down the borders, protect their countries from illegals who shouldn't be in their country and deport them.

Why should countries have their borders opened? Only to cause chaos and destruction for those living there for all their life. None of you (including me) would let the doors' of your houses open for anyone to get in so the same applies to countries.

KBU2 · Aug 5, 2018

lunatic59 said:
That's not entirely true. If you do it by the numbers, apply for a visa and have all the proper checks, it's still very doable. It the people who show up at the border with their families and possessions crying "let me in" that are the problem.

https://www.wikihow.com/Immigrate-Into-the-United-States-Permanently

lunatic59 said:
That's not entirely true. If you do it by the numbers, apply for a visa and have all the proper checks, it's still very doable. It the people who show up at the border with their families and possessions crying "let me in" that are the problem.(

Milo Willamson · Aug 31, 2018

I wish i could explain such horrible things i used to do with mine, I wish i could tell others on how to live this or that, I wish i could just move out, I wish i could just have a decent conversation with my mom that does not include my side occupation, I wish i could just tell her to move on with hers, I think that she has stole my clothes, held them for hostage sort of speak, even though I used to have this shirt or that shirt, one of them was from an early Plain White T's concert in mid 2000ish with my friends band opening up for them, I still remember going to that concert and really was thirsty too much.

I got to finish a few things. I will type up with you later.

dontpanicbobby · Sep 14, 2018

Lots of people die. They'll understand if you say it enough..

Try being an only child

Deleted User · Sep 14, 2018

dontpanicbobby said:
Lots of people die. They'll understand if you say it enough..

Try being an only child

Feels like I am.

joe71 · Sep 25, 2018

Me and my biological family aren't close at. The parents divorced before I was one By the time I was 9 both were working on their third marriage. My mom basically checked out by the time I was 10. Her third husband was a truck driver who came home two or three times a month to visit my older sister which generally included a little bedroom action between the two.
Then we got put in foster care and everyone went their separate ways. It wouldn't be till I turned 23 my mother contacted me. I haven't spoken to my biological father since 1989 and haven't seen my biological sister 1991.
I have been happily married since 1994. A daughter came along several years ago. My wife told me I should try and reconnect with my family because one day they will be gone and I will regret not making amends or connecting with them before it was too late. I told my wife if I learned every member of my biological family suddenly died I would send a bouquet of plastic flowers and then see if I could get a tax break on it. My wife glared at me and walked off.
My wife's family is a complete 180 from mine. Her family is very tight, the wife and her mom and sisters speak several times a week
We have family get togethers at least one or twice a year.
I want my daughter to have a normal family which is my wife's family.
As far as my daughter knows daddy doesn't have a family.

Deleted User · Sep 25, 2018

joe71 said:
Me and my biological family aren't close at. The parents divorced before I was one By the time I was 9 both were working on their third marriage. My mom basically checked out by the time I was 10. Her third husband was a truck driver who came home two or three times a month to visit my older sister which generally included a little bedroom action between the two.
Then we got put in foster care and everyone went their separate ways. It wouldn't be till I turned 23 my mother contacted me. I haven't spoken to my biological father since 1989 and haven't seen my biological sister 1991.
I have been happily married since 1994. A daughter came along several years ago. My wife told me I should try and reconnect with my family because one day they will be gone and I will regret not making amends or connecting with them before it was too late. I told my wife if I learned every member of my biological family suddenly died I would send a bouquet of plastic flowers and then see if I could get a tax break on it. My wife glared at me and walked off.
My wife's family is a complete 180 from mine. Her family is very tight, the wife and her mom and sisters speak several times a week
We have family get togethers at least one or twice a year.
I want my daughter to have a normal family which is my wife's family.
As far as my daughter knows daddy doesn't have a family.

That's sad Joe. I can totally understand you not wanting to contact your lost family. The relationships just aren't there. They would be like strangers to you. But good to know that you've got decent family relations on your wife's side. I don't think people with good family relations can fully understand what it's like to have a poor ones. It's possible for siblings to be so different in character and interests, that they just don't connect, on any level. I have two brothers, but they may as well not be there, for all the contact we have. A result of bad things that happened in the past, which we can't get over, and just plain personality clashes.
I'm pinning my hopes of a normal extended family, on my kids marrying decent folks, so we can acquire some good in-laws.

lunatic59 · Sep 25, 2018

joe71 said:
I told my wife if I learned every member of my biological family suddenly died I would send a bouquet of plastic flowers and then see if I could get a tax break on it. My wife glared at me and walked off.

When my dad died, I found out about it by being called by the funeral home asking me what I wanted them to do with the ashes. I was named the executor in his will (fat lot of good that did me, his "estate" barely broke even -- I think I walked away with about $500 which I used to take a bunch of friends out for steaks). My brother was in California at the time and couldn't get away for two weeks so I drove around with my father's ashes in a cardboard box in my trunk. It was the most time I spent with him in 20 years. When we buried the box in the plot he had pre-paid (I wouldn't have sprung for it) and everyone else left, I did a little dance on his grave -- which remains unmarked and unvisited to this day. My wife wasn't mad but she did look at me like "Who are you?" Unless you've survived that sort of thing, they won't understand. I am happy that my family now will never understand, if you get my drift.

joe71 said:
My wife's family is a complete 180 from mine.

Yeah, mine too, although it was a hard adjustment for me to make. While I may take the occasional cheap shot at my in-laws, i really do admire and envy their closeness.

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