hey issue solved, and it's kind of a funny story in a noobish way. so when i agreed to the update, it popped up a window telling me in no uncertain terms not to touch the phone and how it will be unusable while it's doing the update. i hit update and set it down, and that screen with the exclamation point inside the triangle with the android never went away. i was afraid of doing more damage so i asked online before i did anything. then when i got home from school i figured to hell with it and hit the power button, and the screen changed and it said something about a bad checksum or verification and the update was aborted. i selected reboot and my phone has been fine since (except for still being on 2.1).
ultimately i guess i didn't need to post this thread but i'm sure someone else will have the same problem so maybe i'll be able to help someone.
is there a guide for a manual install out there somewhere, especially showing you how to keep root? or should i just find a guide to install the froyo cyanogenmod rom?