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Gangnam Style Christmas Lights

I HATE it. Just HATE it!

What has happened to Christmas? A traditional and tasteful Christmas. Santa and elves and mistletoe and lovely traditional ornaments and gingerbread cookies and people with decency?

I was arrested last year for displaying naked gingerbread men and accused of abuse as I bit the head off one such cookie. There I was in jail on Christmas Eve with 42 drunk Santa's.

Crap. Pure and utter crap! Dag Nabbit!

These large and sweeping displays driven by loud and crappy music drive me nuts. I can almost see myself in trouble for wrapping the whole shebang with good quality hemp rope; attaching the other end to my car and pulling everything from the ground. I figure it will need to be done twice and the replacement cost will be just too high.

Hells bells . . . even Baby Jesus has been kicked from the manger and replaced with Hobbits or some gender neutral, politically neutral or religious neutral crap. And the manger ripped from the public square.

If any of you have such displays, I am comming for you.
 
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That's a far cry from the candle in the window and a wreath on the door.
I'm just trying to envision how tangled that stuff gets in the shed between seasons.

Candles in the windows kill 14,555 people every year. They pollute the environment and we now know wax causes cancer and tuberculous in old people and children.

Here in Utah, we cantuse candles because of the new sno moking laws.

Wreaths on the door mean you killed a tree. Trees give us life and just think of the damage done transporting those wreaths to your local five and dime. Plastics is no good because of the oil and global cooling.

Sorry, but candles are only approved for use on the doors of Luddites and the Amish. You should have enjoyed the season more growing up . . . Christmas is gone.
 
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I still demand real trees . . . how about you?
When I was a kid we had a real real tree: the evergreen tree in our front yard. Doesn't get better than that! It brings back fond memories of falling asleep at the window as I waited for Santa Claus when I was little...and when I was older, waiting up with a shotgun and plenty of coffee for any looters who tried to steal the gifts under our evergreen. :D

We tried the indoor tree thing, but after learning the hard way that dried-out pine needles in the fireplace and a wood shingle roof didn't mix, we had to look into something more fireproof. Turns out that a VHF discone antenna draped in green plastic makes an ideal Xmas tree for the QSL. Top it off with an angel, and the top radials painted gold for a halo, and you're all set for hours of Christmas cheer listening to the police and fire calls for drunken revelers getting into fights, driving into ditches etc.
 
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