What have I done w/my life?

[mcm808]

I feel the same way bro. Im about to turn 31 and i feel like ive done nothing with my life, in terms of career though. Im opposite of you. I have 2 beautiful kids and ive been with their mom for 12 years. Have a great little family. I do own a paid off lexus, thats about it. I dont have my own home and im currently unemployed now. I built 2 companies from the ground up, and made one of them into a multi-million dollar company within the span of 1 year, the other i increased revenue by about 300% in my 6 months there. The problem is that both companies owe me a LOT of money and ive never reaped the benefits of building companies. I havent been able to travel etc and dont have any retirement of any sort or anything like that, although i should. I should be an executive at a reputable company, however instead, i had to leave the company i built because they refused to pay. I love having my family, but wish i also had what i worked hard for...and thats why i feel like ive accomplished "nothing" in terms of a career...lots of us feel like that, especially around our birthdays. lets go grab some beers!

 

[Frisco]

"I do think it's important to think about what you bring to the table rather than worry about what they'll take."

That's quite golden, and quite easy to diminish into "how should I act," if we're not careful.

Getting that right is where it's at, imo: "what of myself can I honestly provide more of value to (fill in the blank: the world, my family, a woman/man I would like to love me, etc), as opposed to, "how should I act in order to acquire their approval/attraction to me/perceived value, blah.. "

All the act stuff gets spotted a mile away by some, and takes a bit closer proximity by others, which burns time needlessly in the long run, and it will break down after a while and the relationship(s) will suffer/disintegrate etc, and pain will abound.

 

[A.Nonymous]

I was going to post here on Friday, but had a horrible, horrible, horrible day at work and spent the entire weekend trying (and failing) to recover from him. It was just emotionally exhausting. I got a chance to step up my game and prove that I could do a job that I've been wanting. I found that I could do the job very, very, very well, but that I hated every minute of it. Hated it so much I wanted to throw up. So my career path at my current job may be stalled. Not for lack of ability or lack of opportunity but because I am 95% certain at the moment that I don't want to be promoted even if they offered me the promotion tomorrow. Ugh. So maybe I've achieved nothing in my life career wise too. Maybe I've topped out. Maybe this is as far as I get. Depressing. But my boss was impressed with my performance. I would've rather failed to be honest.

As for the rest of the stuff, I still don't consider it selfish to not want to have kids. We see stories all the time about people who should not be parents. I'm not going to be one of those people. I realize my flaws and shortcomings all too well.

What do I have to offer someone else? Honestly, as I think about it, not a whole lot beyond money and financial security. It's sad, but true. I really don't bring a lot to the table. I was thinking over the weekend about how being alone might not be so bad. I've got this far in life on my own. Things haven't turned out too badly so far.

 

[NYCHitman1]

I was going to post here on Friday, but had a horrible, horrible, horrible day at work and spent the entire weekend trying (and failing) to recover from him. It was just emotionally exhausting. I got a chance to step up my game and prove that I could do a job that I've been wanting. I found that I could do the job very, very, very well, but that I hated every minute of it. Hated it so much I wanted to throw up. So my career path at my current job may be stalled. Not for lack of ability or lack of opportunity but because I am 95% certain at the moment that I don't want to be promoted even if they offered me the promotion tomorrow. Ugh. So maybe I've achieved nothing in my life career wise too. Maybe I've topped out. Maybe this is as far as I get. Depressing. But my boss was impressed with my performance. I would've rather failed to be honest.

As for the rest of the stuff, I still don't consider it selfish to not want to have kids. We see stories all the time about people who should not be parents. I'm not going to be one of those people. I realize my flaws and shortcomings all too well.

What do I have to offer someone else? Honestly, as I think about it, not a whole lot beyond money and financial security. It's sad, but true. I really don't bring a lot to the table. I was thinking over the weekend about how being alone might not be so bad. I've got this far in life on my own. Things haven't turned out too badly so far.

I think the point many of us are trying to make is that you do not have to settle for being alone, and you certainly should never sell yourself short. From what I can tell in your posts, you appear to be an intelligent and diligent person with your head on your shoulders (even if you have your sad moments). However, all that can be changed if you just open yourself to the idea of spending time with a potential love interest. No one is saying you have to get married today or tomorrow, but you literally have nothing to lose by trying. Worse case scenario, you end up right where you are currently.