Random Thought Thread

[shalemail]

Why do we have a culture very nearly completely dominated by "shaming" of one kind or another? I ask because of the whole Ashley Graham/Cheryl Tiegs fiasco. It's just the latest, there's been like what 7 or 8 headlines already this year about it, 1 per week or so.

I grew up heavy, picked on, put down, all that. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I got control of it and honestly it wasn't until the last 4 years that I actually think I am to the point of not being fat anymore. So I know the damage it can cause.

That said, in this particular case, I don't think Ashley is "fat". She's curvy to be sure but ya know, some of us like that. I'm more likely to think to myself - "man that gal could sure use a cheeseburger and a snickers" more than to say "wow that gal sure needs a treadmill" ... which I know is skinny shaming - though I have not since grade school ever been mean to someone about something like that.

So I ask here, among some of what I consider to be the most intelligent and level headed folks I interact with. What's the deal? Why do we as humans (yea I have been guilty of it on occasion, thinking to myself or spoken under my breath - as I am sure some or most of you have) feel the need to think less of, mock or belittle folks that are different than we are? What causes that neuron to fire? I am always ashamed of myself when physical appearance influences my perception, yet it still happens from time to time.

I don't know, that was just my random thought at the moment.

 

[zuben el genub]

No one has any right to that kind of shaming criticism. No one is that perfect that they can point the finger. It may look like you have it all, but do you really? Do you have plenty of money and buy friends or are your friends sycophants because you are rich? The same goes for personal looks. Narcissus drowned because he had exceptional beauty and kept admiring himself. The different outlook of a lot of the younger society is really shaking some up. You get the shaming so you will be more like the shamers to give them relevance.

Like likes like. Feels more comfortable with like. I think some are running scared - in 50 years there will be no white majority. The kids' values are changing, some prefer the barter type system and others make their own choices of what to buy, how to live and who their friends are. Quite a few people do not understand or fear the changes, but change is inevitable.

Department stores are hurting since the younger people no longer care. Instead of a high value brand shirt or dress, they'd rather have a good dinner and a "fantastic" cell phone or a great vacation. Their money and their choice. It is upsetting the old guard. Starting to see rants about about those preferences in financial blogs, etc.

 

[jefboyardee]

Put an offer on this. The house, that is, not the car...

 

[mikedt]

Why do we have a culture very nearly completely dominated by "shaming" of one kind or another? I ask because of the whole Ashley Graham/Cheryl Tiegs fiasco.

Never heard of them. Had to Google it.

 

[lunatic59]

Never heard of them. Had to Google it.

Actually, Mike, I know who Cheryl Tiegs is (was) but, not only don't I know who Ashley what's-her-name is, I didn't care enough to Google it.

 

[Dngrsone]

You mean.. You could eat at least 4 POUNDS of PIZZA?! [emoji33] Holy Crap!! [emoji12]
Lmfao [emoji41]

pizza crust plus water plus oxygen equals poundage.

 

[norb]

I wonder, if you link two particles through quantum entanglement, and then heat one, does the other become equally heated thereby doubling the total energy that could be transmitted by both combined? What if you link trillions of trillions of trillions of particles?

 

[Spec2nirvash]

Why do we have a culture very nearly completely dominated by "shaming" of one kind or another? I ask because of the whole Ashley Graham/Cheryl Tiegs fiasco. It's just the latest, there's been like what 7 or 8 headlines already this year about it, 1 per week or so.

I grew up heavy, picked on, put down, all that. It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I got control of it and honestly it wasn't until the last 4 years that I actually think I am to the point of not being fat anymore. So I know the damage it can cause.

That said, in this particular case, I don't think Ashley is "fat". She's curvy to be sure but ya know, some of us like that. I'm more likely to think to myself - "man that gal could sure use a cheeseburger and a snickers" more than to say "wow that gal sure needs a treadmill" ... which I know is skinny shaming - though I have not since grade school ever been mean to someone about something like that.

So I ask here, among some of what I consider to be the most intelligent and level headed folks I interact with. What's the deal? Why do we as humans (yea I have been guilty of it on occasion, thinking to myself or spoken under my breath - as I am sure some or most of you have) feel the need to think less of, mock or belittle folks that are different than we are? What causes that neuron to fire? I am always ashamed of myself when physical appearance influences my perception, yet it still happens from time to time.

I don't know, that was just my random thought at the moment.

I've spent years trying to figure that out. My own mother is totally fat-phobic, and that has put a huge strain on our relationship for years. Aside from pregnancy, she probably never broke 120 lbs, even while carrying my younger twin sisters, and never over 100lbs otherwise.

In fact her indifference is so bloody awful, she even admits fat folks disgust her. But your own kids and grandchildren? It's ugly. My neices and nephews are favored more than my kids, who are the most well behaved, polite and respectful children.

I fought hard to raise 'em well. Not in mom's eyes. They're not her grandchildren; they're treated like outsiders that have fat parents. And my kids are all normal weight for their respective frames.

So, the fat shaming not only hurts my wife and I, but it's very unjustly passed down to the kids. Oh my God, have to remind her my 'eyes are up here'. First thing she looks at on anybody is the stomach.

Crap, I'd love to get more input on this...

 

[norb]

Your mother is toxic. Just stay away. Family is in the spirit, not the blood. You dont need it. And your kids dont need to grow up screwed up by her.

 

[Dngrsone]

I've spent years trying to figure that out. My own mother is totally fat-phobic, and that has put a huge strain on our relationship for years. Aside from pregnancy, she probably never broke 120 lbs, even while carrying my younger twin sisters, and never over 100lbs otherwise.

In fact her indifference is so bloody awful, she even admits fat folks disgust her. But your own kids and grandchildren? It's ugly. My neices and nephews are favored more than my kids, who are the most well behaved, polite and respectful children.

I fought hard to raise 'em well. Not in mom's eyes. They're not her grandchildren; they're treated like outsiders that have fat parents. And my kids are all normal weight for their respective frames.

So, the fat shaming not only hurts my wife and I, but it's very unjustly passed down to the kids. Oh my God, have to remind her my 'eyes are up here'. First thing she looks at on anybody is the stomach.

Crap, I'd love to get more input on this...

I used to have a coworker who absolutely hated fat people, even slightly overweight people. Shaming them and making endless fat jokes, and such... I found out later that he himself used to have a weight problem before the military straightened him out. After he got out? Ballooned up to almost twice his weight.

For some people, I think it's personal shame, they redirect personal feelings onto other people who remind them of themselves, perhaps from an earlier time.

 

[Deleted User]

I think it's human nature to be judgemental of others. So all you fatties, get out there and do some exercise!!

 

[jefboyardee]

Here's a truly random post: tomorrow I drink a bucket full of something horrifying to prepare for my colonoscopy on Monday, aka Leap Day.

 

[kct1975]

Here's a truly random post: tomorrow I drink a bucket full of something horrifying to prepare for my colonoscopy on Monday, aka Leap Day.

Ahhh...yes...I had to do that a few months ago...the 'medicine' is a sort gross semisweet mixture. Very unpleasant...

And then, of course the results are also even more unpleasant.

Good Luck my Friend! [emoji106]

 

[PattiCakeUS]

So, the fat shaming not only hurts my wife and I, but it's very unjustly passed down to the kids. Oh my God, have to remind her my 'eyes are up here'. First thing she looks at on anybody is the stomach.

Crap, I'd love to get more input on this...

Yikes, sorry to hear you're dealing with this. I'd give her one chance. Sit down alone with her and have a conversation about this, let her know how much this bothers you & is hurtful to you, your wife, & your kids. Then either she does a 180 or you might consider minimizing, or possibly even cutting off contact with her. Family is important, but when family treats you that way, that's not healthy for anyone.

I have issues with my own mom, & several years ago I realized I had to reduce my contact with her. She's older now & that complicates things in other ways, but I really limit how much & how often I see her, or even talk to her. You have to do what's best for you & your immediate family.

 

[bjacks12]

My favorite person(me) is fat. Fat people rule.

 

[jefboyardee]

When I moved from LA to Seattle in 1988, I had sent a picture to my sister. She asked, "how did you get so fat?!" I hadn't even noticed so I went and bought a scale – two hundred thirty! I always thought I weighed a hundred fifty something!

I spent over a year skipping all lunches, mountain biking up Seattle hills and completely avoiding snacks. That actually worked and I still avoid all snacks. Anyway, I've been a hundred fifty something ever since.

And the secret weight controller is...

Spoiler

cigarettes

 

[Unforgiven]

And the secret weight controller is...

Spoiler

undefined

Aint that the truth. I quit smoking and started eating healthier, packed on 30 pounds.

 

[jefboyardee]

I have three scotch and sodas every freaking night. One at nine, another at about nine thirty, the last at about ten. Been doing that every night for years... until tomorrow! I'll be fasting, but for that two gallon evacuation water to prep for the damn assoscopy.

 

[jefboyardee]

A mass extinction of bees and butterflies could threaten world food crops, UN report finds

The report highlighted recent research that said the widely used insecticide neonicotinoid reduces wild bees' chances for survival and reproduction, but the evidence of effects on honeybees is conflicting.​

 

[Dngrsone]

Trust but verify

 

[psionandy]

A mass extinction of bees and butterflies could threaten world food crops, UN report finds

​

You mean you didn't miss the documentary from 2007??????

 

[jefboyardee]

Trust but verify

That sentence never made sense to me, from the moment Reagan said it. Shouldn't it be 'verify, then trust?'

 

[Dngrsone]

That sentence never made sense to me, from the moment Reagan said it. Shouldn't it be 'verify, then trust?'

No. "I trust you to do this work, based on my knowledge of you and your skill-set. With that said, I will verify said work and make sure it meets our collective standards." takes too long to say, but it's essentially what the phrase means.

[most of] The people I work with are professionals, but everyone makes mistakes. By following up and inspecting their work, I am not so much making sure they are doing their job as I am catching little mistakes that anyone can and will make and getting them corrected before they become problems later.

 

[jefboyardee]

No. "I trust you to do this work, based on my knowledge of you and your skill-set. With that said, I will verify said work and make sure it meets our collective standards." takes too long to say, but it's essentially what the phrase means.

And if it doesn't meet the collective standards, then we stop trusting them... semantics. Oh well, this thirty year-old argument has no solution.

 

[norb]

No. "I trust you to do this work, based on my knowledge of you and your skill-set. With that said, I will verify said work and make sure it meets our collective standards." takes too long to say, but it's essentially what the phrase means.

[most of] The people I work with are professionals, but everyone makes mistakes. By following up and inspecting their work, I am not so much making sure they are doing their job as I am catching little mistakes that anyone can and will make and getting them corrected before they become problems later.

That's just a BS-y way of saying you dont trust them to be competent.